Welcome to Thebookishenglish.com. I have a question for you. Do you control your thoughts… or do your thoughts control you? Most people never stop to think about how they think.
They wake up in the morning, and before their feet even touch the floor, their mind is already full of stress, doubts, and worries.
They don’t choose these thoughts — they just appear, and they believe them without question. This is why so many people feel tired, anxious, or stuck, even when nothing bad is happening at that moment.
You see, your life doesn’t change only when your circumstances change. Your life changes when your thinking changes. And here’s the truth — correct thinking is not something you are born with.
It’s not a gift that only a few lucky people have. It’s a skill. A skill you can learn, practice, and master.
Today, I’m going to guide you step-by-step on how to think in a way that brings you clarity when life is confusing, confidence when fear appears, and peace when things feel heavy.
If you stay with me until the end, I promise you — even one small shift in the way you think can completely change the way you live your life forever.
Chapter 1 –Why Most People Think the Wrong Way
Most people go through life without ever learning how to think correctly.
No one teaches this in school. You learn how to read, how to write, how to solve math problems, but no one sits you down and explains how to use your mind in the right way.
Because of that, most people spend their whole life thinking on autopilot. That means their mind runs without their control. Thoughts just come and go, and they follow them without question.
And here’s the thing — if you are not controlling your thoughts, your thoughts are controlling you. Think about this.
Have you ever woken up in the morning already feeling stressed or worried, even though nothing bad has happened yet? You open your eyes, and your mind starts talking. “I’m so tired.
I have so much to do. What if today goes wrong? What if I can’t finish my work?” These thoughts appear before you even get out of bed. You didn’t choose them.
They just showed up. And when you believe them, your mood changes. You feel heavy, you feel slow, you feel like the day is already difficult before it even begins.
That’s what happens when your mind is on autopilot. Wrong thinking is like wearing dirty glasses. Imagine you have a pair of glasses that are covered in dust and fingerprints.
No matter where you look, everything seems unclear, dark, and unpleasant. The world itself hasn’t changed. The sun is still shining, the colors are still bright, and the people around you are the same.
But your vision is dirty, so everything looks worse than it really is. This is exactly how wrong thinking works.
Life may be fine, but if your mind is filled with negativity, fear, and doubt, everything will seem worse than it is. You won’t see the opportunities in front of you.
You won’t notice the good things happening. You’ll only see the dirt on the lens. Here’s something that might surprise you — your thoughts are not facts. Let me say that again: your thoughts are not facts.
They are mental events. They are like little clouds passing through the sky of your mind. Some clouds are light and fluffy, some are dark and heavy, but none of them are permanent.
Thoughts come, and thoughts go. Just because you think something does not mean it’s true. If you think, “I’m not good enough,” that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.
It just means that thought has appeared in your mind. You can choose to believe it, or you can choose to let it pass. But most people don’t know this. They believe every thought that appears in their head.
If the thought is positive, they feel good. If the thought is negative, they feel bad. They’re like a small boat in the ocean, being thrown around by every wave.
One moment they’re happy, the next moment they’re sad, then worried, then angry — all because they let their thoughts control their feelings. Let’s make it even simpler. Imagine your mind is a radio station.
It’s always playing something. Sometimes it plays music you like, sometimes it plays noise you hate. The problem is, most people don’t realize they can change the station.
They just sit there, listening to whatever is playing, even if it makes them feel terrible. Correct thinking is learning how to pick the station that helps you, not hurts you.
We often believe thoughts without checking if they’re true. For example, you might think, “I’m going to fail this test” before you even start studying. But have you failed yet?
No. You’ve already decided the result in your mind without giving yourself a chance. Or you might think, “That person doesn’t like me” just because they didn’t smile at you today.
Maybe they were just tired or busy. But your mind creates a story, and you believe it. This is how wrong thinking builds walls in your life. It stops you before you even try.
If you want to start thinking correctly, the first step is awareness. You have to notice when a thought appears and ask, “Is this a fact, or just a thought?”
If it’s just a thought, you can choose to let it pass instead of holding onto it. This is where your power begins. Most people live their whole life without realizing they have this choice.
But once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Here’s a little truth that can change everything for you — you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts.
You can watch them come and go without believing every single one. You can choose which thoughts to keep and which ones to throw away.
And the moment you start doing this, your life will begin to feel lighter, clearer, and more in your control.
So let me ask you this: what if I told you that from today, you can take control of your thoughts instead of letting them control you?
What if I told you that you can clean the dirty glasses, change the radio station, and see life as it really is — full of chances, full of beauty, and full of possibilities?
That’s exactly what I’m going to show you in the next chapters. Stay with me, because the journey to correct thinking has only just begun.
Chapter 2 – You Are Not Your Thoughts
Your mind is like the sky. It’s vast, open, and unchanging in its essence. Your thoughts are like clouds.
Some are white and soft, others are dark and heavy. Some move quickly, some stay for a while. But no matter how many clouds pass, the sky is still there, untouched.
The sky doesn’t become the clouds, and you don’t become your thoughts. This is one of the most important truths you can learn — you are not your thoughts.
You are the observer, the one watching them come and go. But here’s the problem: most people live as if they are the clouds. A negative thought appears, and they say, “This is who I am.”
A scary thought appears, and they believe it’s the truth. They let every passing thought decide how they feel and what they do. Let’s try something simple together. Close your eyes for five seconds.
Now, notice the voice in your head. It might be saying something about this video. It might be thinking about what you’ll do later. It might be remembering something from yesterday.
But here’s the key — that voice is not you. That’s just a voice. You are the one hearing it. You are the listener, not the talker. This is what I call “observer mode.”
Think of it like watching traffic from the side of the road. Cars are passing — some are slow, some are fast, some are noisy. But you’re not jumping into every car and going wherever it takes you.
You’re just watching them go by. That’s how you can treat your thoughts. They appear, you notice them, and you decide if you want to follow them or let them pass.
When you don’t realize you’re the observer, you jump into every thought as if it’s your destination. A thought like, “I’m going to fail,” shows up, and you start worrying for hours.
Another thought says, “I’m not good enough,” and you stop yourself from trying.
But when you know you’re the observer, you can say, “Oh, here’s that thought again,” and let it move on without giving it your energy.
Here’s the power in this — creating space between your thoughts and your reaction. Most people have no space. A thought appears, and they instantly react.
They feel angry, sad, scared, or stressed, without even questioning if the thought is true. But when you step back into observer mode, you have a choice. You can pause. You can breathe.
You can ask yourself, “Is this thought useful? Is it helping me?” And if it’s not, you can let it go. Imagine if every time a negative thought came into your mind, you had a five-second pause before reacting.
In that pause, you could choose to stay calm instead of getting upset. You could choose to keep working instead of quitting. You could choose to think differently.
That small space between thought and action is where your real power lives. Let’s use another example. Imagine your thoughts are like a TV channel. Some programs are happy and inspiring.
Others are scary and stressful. Most people don’t realize they can change the channel. They just sit and watch whatever is on, even if it’s making them feel bad. But as the observer, you have the remote.
You can say, “No, I don’t want to watch this,” and switch to something that helps you. You might be wondering, “But how do I stop believing every thought?”
The answer is simple, but it takes practice — you start noticing them. The moment you become aware that a thought is just a thought, you break its control over you. You realize it’s not a fact.
It’s not the truth. It’s just a cloud passing through the sky of your mind. And here’s something amazing — even the darkest clouds eventually pass. You don’t have to push them away.
You don’t have to fight them. Just let them move on. If you don’t hold them, they can’t hold you. This is why meditation and mindfulness are so powerful.
They train you to sit back and watch your thoughts without getting lost in them. But you don’t need to be a monk or meditate for hours to do this. You can practice anywhere.
While walking, while washing dishes, even while waiting in line. Just notice what your mind is saying, and remember: that’s not you. You’re the one watching.
Once you start living as the observer, your relationship with your mind changes completely. A bad thought no longer ruins your day. A scary thought no longer stops you from trying.
You realize that your mind is like the weather — sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes stormy. But you are always the sky. You are always the space that holds it all.
So next time a thought appears that says, “You can’t do this,” try this: pause, breathe, and say to yourself, “That’s just a thought. I don’t have to believe it.”
Then watch it drift away, like a cloud moving across the sky. The moment you understand that you are not your thoughts, you unlock a new level of freedom.
You stop being a prisoner of your own mind. You start living with clarity, calm, and choice. And that’s when you can begin building a life based on truth, not fear.
Chapter 3 – Train Your Mind Like a Muscle
Your body needs exercise to stay strong, healthy, and flexible. If you stop moving, your muscles become weak.
The same is true for your mind. If you don’t train it, it becomes lazy, negative, and easily controlled by stress. But here’s the good news — your mind can grow stronger every single day, just like your body.
You can shape it, strengthen it, and make it work for you instead of against you. Think of your mind like a muscle in the gym. If you lift weights once and never again, will you get strong?
No. If you train your mind only when you feel motivated, will you get lasting results? No. But if you work on it daily, even for just a few minutes, you will see amazing changes.
And here’s the spike moment: you can start reprogramming your mind in just minutes each day. That’s all it takes to begin. Let’s talk about how.
There are simple daily habits that anyone — yes, even you — can do to train the mind. First is positive self-talk. This means speaking to yourself with encouragement instead of criticism.
Every morning, before you touch your phone or start your day, say something kind and strong to yourself. It can be as simple as, “I can handle today,” or “I am learning and growing.”
It might feel strange at first, especially if you’ve spent years talking to yourself in a negative way. But just like a muscle, your mind will get used to it.
Soon, your brain will start choosing these thoughts automatically. Second is reading. Reading is like nutrition for your mind.
When you read something inspiring or educational every day — even just for five minutes — you’re feeding your brain with good ideas.
Instead of starting your day with social media or bad news, start with a page from a book that lifts you up. Over time, these words become part of your thinking. They start shaping how you see the world.
Third is reflection. This is where you take a few minutes to think about your day, your choices, and your lessons.
You can do this in the morning to plan your day with purpose, or in the evening to review what you learned. Reflection keeps your mind focused on growth instead of just reacting to whatever happens.
Fourth is short meditation. You don’t have to sit for hours in silence. Even two to five minutes a day can make a difference.
Close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and simply notice your thoughts without chasing them. This trains your mind to stay calm and focused, even in stressful situations.
Let me share a short story. I once knew a student named Aisha. She was always stressed, always overthinking, and often doubting herself. One day, I told her about training the mind like a muscle.
She decided to try it for 30 days. Every morning, she spent two minutes saying positive things to herself. She read one page of an inspiring book.
She reflected for a few minutes each night, asking, “What did I learn today?” And she did three minutes of meditation before bed. That’s it — no big, complicated system.
At first, she didn’t notice much change. But after a week, she started catching herself before reacting to negative thoughts. After two weeks, she was speaking more confidently at work.
By the end of 30 days, she told me she felt like a different person — calmer, stronger, and more in control of her emotions. All of that came from just a few minutes a day.
Training your mind is not about big effort all at once. It’s about small, consistent actions every day. If you feed your mind junk — gossip, negativity, fear — you’ll think in a weak, fearful way.
But if you feed your mind strong, positive, and clear thoughts every day, your thinking will change, and so will your life. You might still have bad days. You might still have negative thoughts.
That’s normal. Even a strong muscle gets tired sometimes. But with daily training, you recover faster. You bounce back with more strength. You face challenges with a clearer mind and a braver heart.
The best part is, you don’t need hours. You don’t need special equipment. You don’t need to wait for the “right time.” You can start today. Right now, in fact.
Pick one habit — maybe it’s saying something positive to yourself in the morning, or reading for five minutes, or just sitting in silence and breathing for a moment. Do it today, do it tomorrow, and keep going.
Because here’s the truth: if you feed your mind good thoughts every day, your life will start changing in ways you didn’t think possible.
Chapter 4 – Replace Negative Self-Talk with Truth
The words you say to yourself are like seeds. Whatever you plant in your mind will grow.
If you plant seeds of doubt, fear, and weakness, you will grow a life full of doubt, fear, and weakness. But if you plant seeds of courage, truth, and strength, you will grow a life full of courage, truth, and strength.
Most people don’t even notice the words they’re saying to themselves all day long. They walk around saying, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never succeed,” or “I’m always unlucky.”
They repeat these words so often that their brain starts to believe them as facts. But here’s the spike moment — changing just one repeated sentence in your self-talk can change your life.
Think about it. If every day you told yourself, “I’m a failure,” your brain would start to look for proof of that. You would notice your mistakes more. You would remember your losses more.
You would feel smaller, weaker, and less capable. But if you replaced that sentence with, “I’m learning and improving,” your brain would look for proof of that instead.
You would notice your progress. You would celebrate your small wins. You would feel motivated to keep going. The words you choose are like the direction you point your life.
Let’s use an easy garden metaphor. Your mind is a garden. The words you speak to yourself are the seeds. Negative self-talk is like weeds — if you don’t pull them out, they will spread everywhere.
They will steal the sunlight, water, and space that your good plants need to grow. You can’t just plant flowers and ignore the weeds. You have to be an active gardener.
That means noticing the weeds, pulling them out, and planting seeds of truth in their place. Here’s a simple replacement exercise. When you catch yourself saying, “I can’t,” change it to, “I’m learning.”
That small shift turns a closed door into an open one. “I can’t” means the conversation is over. “I’m learning” means you are still moving forward. When you think, “I’m weak,” replace it with, “I’m getting stronger.”
“I’m weak” focuses on what you lack right now. “I’m getting stronger” focuses on your growth, your progress, and your future. When you say, “I always fail,” replace it with, “I’m still figuring it out.”
Every person who has succeeded at something has failed many times first. The difference is, they didn’t stop. They kept going because they believed they were still figuring it out.
When you tell yourself, “I’m not smart enough,” replace it with, “I can learn anything with time and effort.” This reminds your brain that intelligence is not fixed — it grows with learning.
At first, replacing negative self-talk with truth will feel strange. It might even feel fake. That’s because your brain is used to the old sentences.
But if you repeat the new, truthful ones every day, they will become your new normal. Just like a gardener who plants the same seeds every season, you will begin to see new growth in your mind and your life.
Let me share a quick example. A young man I once taught had a habit of saying, “I’m terrible at speaking English.” Every time he spoke, he felt nervous and small because he had already told himself he was terrible.
I asked him to change that sentence to, “I’m improving every day.” For the first week, he didn’t feel much difference. But by the second week, he noticed something — he was speaking more.
He was making fewer mistakes because he wasn’t as scared. By the end of the month, he told me he felt 50% more confident, not because his skills had suddenly become perfect,
but because his self-talk gave him courage to keep practicing. That’s the power of replacing lies with truth. Your mind believes what you tell it the most.
If you constantly feed it lies — “I can’t,” “I’m weak,” “I’m stupid” — it will shape your life around those lies. But if you feed it truth — “I’m learning,” “I’m getting stronger,”
“I can improve” — it will shape your life around those truths. Every time you speak truth to yourself, you’re building a stronger mind. And a stronger mind creates a stronger life.
Chapter 5 – Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers
Your brain is like a search engine. Whatever question you type into it, it will search for an answer.
The problem is, most people don’t realize they are asking their brain the wrong questions all day long. And just like a search engine, if you ask the wrong question, you will get the wrong answer.
If you ask your brain, “Why am I always unlucky?” it will start digging through your memories, looking for proof that you are unlucky.
It will show you every time something went wrong, every time someone let you down, every time you failed. And suddenly, you feel worse, smaller, and even more unlucky — just because of one question.
But if you ask your brain, “What can I learn from this?” it will start searching for lessons. It will remind you of times you overcame challenges. It will give you ideas for how to do better next time.
That one question changes your focus from victim mode to growth mode. This is the spike moment: Your life follows the direction of the questions you ask yourself.
Most people live in “victim questions” without realizing it. These are questions like:
· “Why does this always happen to me?”
· “Why am I so bad at this?”
· “Why do I never get a break?”
Victim questions make you feel powerless. They make you believe that life is happening to you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
But there is another kind of question — growth questions. These are questions that move you forward, like:
· “What can I do about this right now?”
· “What is this situation trying to teach me?”
· “How can I make this better?”
Let’s take a real-life example. Imagine you fail an English speaking test. If you ask,
“Why am I so bad at English?” your brain will list all the mistakes you’ve made, all the times you were nervous, all the times you forgot a word. You will feel discouraged and might even want to quit.
But if you ask, “What can I do to improve for next time?” your brain will start looking for solutions.
Maybe you’ll think of practicing with a friend, recording yourself to catch mistakes, or listening to more English conversations. Suddenly, you have a plan — and a plan gives you power.
Another example: let’s say you have an argument with a friend. If you ask, “Why is my friend so difficult?” you will focus on everything you don’t like about them.
But if you ask, “How can I communicate better with my friend?” your brain will find ways to fix the relationship instead of making it worse.
This works for small daily things too. If you spill coffee on your shirt before work, you could ask, “Why am I so clumsy?” — and spend the rest of the day annoyed at yourself.
Or you could ask, “What’s the fastest way to fix this?” — and move on with your day without ruining your mood. The key is to become aware of the questions you’re asking yourself right now.
Every time you feel stuck, upset, or hopeless, pause and ask: “Wait — what question did I just ask myself?” If it’s a victim question, change it to a growth question immediately.
Here’s a quick guide:
· Victim Question: “Why can’t I do this?” → Growth Question: “What’s one small step I can take right now?”
· Victim Question: “Why does this always happen to me?” → Growth Question: “How can I prevent this from happening again?”
· Victim Question: “Why am I so unlucky?” → Growth Question: “What can I learn from this situation?”
· Victim Question: “Why is this so hard?” → Growth Question: “How can I make this easier?”
Changing your questions takes practice, but it gets easier every time you do it.
Over time, your brain will automatically start asking better questions, and your life will begin to shift in a better direction without you even forcing it.
Your mind is like a car, and your questions are the steering wheel. If you keep asking questions that point you toward problems, you will keep driving into frustration.
If you ask questions that point you toward solutions, you will drive toward growth and success.
Your questions are the steering wheel of your mind. If you want a better life, start steering in the right direction.
Chapter 6 – Protect Your Mind from Mental Junk Food
Your mind is like your body — it becomes whatever you feed it.
If you eat fresh, healthy food every day, your body grows stronger, lighter, and more energetic.
But if you eat junk food all day — greasy snacks, sugary drinks, processed meals — your body becomes weak, slow, and unhealthy. The same thing happens with your mind.
Social media drama, endless gossip, and fear-filled news are the junk food of the brain. At first, they might seem harmless. You think, “I’m just checking for a minute,” or “It’s just a little entertainment.”
But over time, these things fill your mind with doubt, fear, anger, and comparison. They don’t make you stronger — they make you weaker. Here’s a spike moment:
I want you to check your phone history right now. Look at how much time you’ve spent on social media this week. Look at what kind of content you’ve been watching, reading, or listening to.
Has it been teaching you something? Has it been helping you grow? Or has it just been filling your mind with mental junk food?
Most people are not unhappy because of who they are — they are unhappy because of what they keep feeding their minds.
If every morning you start your day scrolling through bad news, comparing yourself to strangers online, and reading negative comments, you’ve already fed your brain poison before breakfast.
You must become the gatekeeper of your mind. A gatekeeper decides what gets in and what stays out. Just like a guard protects the entrance to a building, you must protect the entrance to your mind.
Not every idea, opinion, or piece of content deserves a place inside your head. Here’s how to start protecting your mind:
· If something makes you feel small, angry, or hopeless, ask yourself if it’s worth keeping in your mental space.
· If a conversation is full of gossip and negativity, you can leave it or change the subject.
· If your social media feed is full of content that drains your energy, unfollow or mute it.
Replacing mental junk food with mental nutrition doesn’t mean you can never watch something funny or relax online. It just means you’re mindful of the balance.
You can have a snack sometimes, but you don’t live on snacks. Here are some easy swaps to make your mind healthier:
· Replace gossip with learning. Instead of talking about other people’s mistakes, read or watch something that teaches you a new skill or inspires you.
· Replace noise with silence. Instead of filling every moment with music, videos, or talking, give yourself a few minutes of quiet. This helps your brain reset and think clearly.
· Replace fear with hope. If the news is making you anxious, find positive stories, inspiring talks, or uplifting books that remind you of what’s possible.
You will notice something powerful when you start doing this. After a week of protecting your mind, you will feel lighter, calmer, and more in control.
You will start to think more clearly. Problems will seem smaller. Your energy will rise. Why? Because you’re no longer feeding your brain garbage. You’re giving it the fuel it needs to work at its best.
Here’s a short example. I once knew a student who used to spend hours each night watching angry debates and scary news videos. He told me he couldn’t sleep and always felt stressed.
I asked him to replace just one hour a day with reading something educational or uplifting. After two weeks, he told me his mood had improved, he was sleeping better, and he was thinking more positively.
All because he changed what he was feeding his mind. This is the truth: Your mind becomes what you feed it. Feed it carefully. If you want peace, feed it peace.
If you want strength, feed it knowledge. If you want hope, feed it truth. You are the gatekeeper. Guard your thoughts like they are treasures — because they are.